“I wish I could do better by you
‘Cause that’s what you deserve
You sacrifice so much of your life
In order for this to work
While I’m off chasing my own dreams
Sailing around the world
Please, know that I’m yours to keep
My beautiful girl
When you cry a piece of my heart dies
Knowing that I may have been the cause
If you were to leave, fulfill someone else’s dreams
I think I might totally be lost
You don’t ask for no diamond rings
No delicate string of pearls
That’s why I wrote this song to sing
My beautiful girl” – The Girl by City & Color

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I was once told this song made you think of me. At first, I was flattered, a song made you think of me, it was somehow about me. The longer the years went on, the more I listened, the less flattered I felt.

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I’m still trying to sort out the difference between a pivotal moment in time, a memory, holding onto a grudge, how are they different? Why are some OK and others are not?

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They all felt like memories that made up a patchwork of our lives. Everyone’s life is filled with the beautiful and broken. You didn’t want to talk about the broken. I couldn’t keep moving forward without acknowledging the fragments surrounding me. They felt dark and lonely, the memories of the shattered parts, I wanted someone to sit with me in the dark, bring their own light, help me to see them made new.

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I wanted it to all turn brand new. To start a new chapter. I thought the new chapter would be with you. But you told me you didn’t need me anymore and I believed you.