It has been a season of loss for us. A long season. Like the bleak winter that seems to never end. There are days of sunshine to warm your face, but they fade quickly. The sun hiding its face once again behind the clouds.
It is wearing on me. I’ve felt it more these past few months than I did before. As if it has finally caught up to me on my long dash to outrun it. You can’t outrun grief. It sneaks in, boroughs down twists around your heart. It comes out in all the wrong ways when you least expect it.
I’ve been short. I’ve been angry. Mostly I’ve been sad. I’ve heard angry is sad’s bodyguard and I couldn’t agree more. Something about anger feels safer than sad. Who sold us that idea?
A vacation can’t fix this. A day off with some retail therapy won’t work these feelings out. You have to sit with them and process them. I can be angry at the grief but ultimately, I must sit with it, like an old friend, and decide how to move on from the hurt.