mothering

Motherhood… it’s meant a lot of things to me… Joy. Amazement. Fullness. Love. Love beyond expression. Sorrow. Anger. Worry. Disruption.

You can look at disruption as a bad thing or you can refocus it to a positive. I’ve spent over 10 months analyzing and implementing “presence” into my life. We’ve had a lot of disruptions this year. Some bad. Job loss. Church loss. Medical problems. Pet loss. School issues. We’ve had amazing disruptions… figuring out a new job. Learning a new church. Getting a puppy. Everyday happenings.

I’m a planner. I’m a goal setter. I move through life fast and full. And I’ve had to reevaluate that a lot this year. My boys are my greatest joy. No one else can take my place as Mom to them. And no one else can live my dreams and accomplish the things in life given to me to achieve. How do I balance that? One day at a time. I’ll gladly shave my goal time down to give my kids safety and security. Because one day they won’t need me in the ways they need me today. That book will get written. That art will get made. Those dreams were already dreamt, and I’ll get them done. But today I’m driving my kids. I’m disrupting my time for their life. It’s motherhood. It’s what we do. 

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